This I Believe

Paul - Grandview, Missouri
Entered on July 13, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: change, courage

I believe courage to change comes in many forms. Courage sometimes means simply to walk away from long held beliefs or practices. I believe in sucking it up and living with your decisions. Whether they be good, bad or indifferent those decisions make us stronger for the road ahead of us.

Twenty two years ago My mother walked away from a twenty year marriage with five children under the age of eighteen. She had been out of the workforce for two decades yet still managed to raise us all come what may. She went to school to learn computers, sold Avon, and cleaned houses to get by. Her courage to leave a failed marriaage taught me that when things are over it is time to move on and move forward.

With that in mind I face each challenge with my sleeves rolled and my boots hitched up, ready to tackle the tasks ahead. In 1993 I gained the courage to come out to my family.

In 1999 I walked away from a beloved job in theatre, since then it has been a journey of self discovery.

I became first a CNA for endstage Aid’s patients in a local hospice, thinking Health would be a good career path.

In 2003 I left my own failed relationship of six years due to his drug and alcohol use.

This was followed by home health aide, visual artist, housekeeper, and now OTR Truck driver. Each experience has left me stronger and more brave for the challenges I faced along the way and those I have yet to face.

My latest challenge has been to save my mother from an adjusted rate mortgage, a freind from Cancer, Work full time, rehabilitate a nearly 100 year old farmhouse in the limited 34 hours off each week, and try as I might to remain optimistic.

The gift of courage unknowingly given by my mom has served me well in the years since that day at the age of 16 that my mother announced she was going to divorce my dad. It has given me the courage to live by my wits, my skills, my determination, my talents, my sheer force of will. I believe courage is more than serving your country; it is serving your community, family, and most importantly yourself with all that you have to give and then some. Whether times be tough or good it is our individual courage to face all that waits in our future without looking away from the hardships. Treasuring the journey instead of focused on the destination. I don’t know what my future holds anymore than anyone else, but I do know one thing…… I will face it with courage.