This I Believe

Angel - Parker, Texas
Entered on July 12, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: parenthood

This I believe – Empower our children, change the world

My 10-year old son came home one day from a play day at a nearby friend’s home. He admitted going for a bike ride and was “peer pressured” into trespassing private property. He was not aware that he broke any laws or rules, but when I ask how he felt during this experience, he admitted to being nervous, uncomfortable and just wanted to leave. This is when my parenting skills were put to the test.

It can sometimes be difficult for us as parents to eliminate superiority when disciplining our children. Today’s parenting generation has a huge responsibility, to “undo” what we’ve been taught and demonstrate a more effective way to parent. I mean, how do we overcome the old paradigm we grew up with, “I said so because I am the parent!” or “Do as I say, not as I do.” We have heard many lines like these growing up I am sure you agree.

After all this is what parenting is suppose to be, teaching our children what’s right and wrong, right? Well, actually, that is where we, as parents of a new generation, can make the shift to a new standard. One that creates a peaceful outcome and honors our children while empowering them to be the best person they can be. The truth is, when we are at our best, we make good decisions. We are here simply to guide our children toward making their own choices of what serves them and what does not. To allow them to follow their hearts, letting their feelings be their guide to determine for themselves what truly agrees with “the grandest version of the greatest vision of Who They Are”.

Rather than using our parental “superiority” and punishing our children for a wrongdoing, use this occasion to practice the deeper message of the experience by simply focusing what lesson was learned from it. Ask them to describe their feelings while they where engaged in the inappropriate action. When they can admit to themselves that it felt nervous or uncomfortable or “wrong”, then that’s when you point out to them this amazing internal natural gift they have within them. As they grow up, remind them to recognize those feelings, their built-in guide, and of their power of choice. Just like a superhero’s powers, they have the power to choose again, to do what serves them and feels good, comfortable and safe. Not because it will please you, the parent, but because it will feel “right” and good to them. They will feel empowered knowing they made a good choice. Oh, and if you want to see more of this behavior, be sure to express your appreciation whenever this occurs! Create “appreciation stickers” and honor your child with one each time you witness the making of a good choice. This will truly help guide them and remind them of their own special powers, the power to choose.

Time to Play!

Here is a Free 2 B U Family Tip to assist you with eliminating Superiority at home. Play “The Family Agreement Game”! Sit down as a family and have each family member write down their ideas of what would make a peaceful home environment, on a small piece of paper and drop them in a bowl. Then, take turns reading the agreements. If everyone agrees to live by the idea, then it gets written or glued down as “Your Family Agreements”. By doing this fun exercise, communication is increased and a general understanding of boundaries is acknowledged, therefore, eliminating the need for Superiority. Parents and children are equal souls completely in alignment with all expectations of one another while understanding the consequences. So you’ll never again have to say, “Because I said so.” It’s now because they agreed.

So as parents, we are not only creating a fair and honest approach that honors our children for being the free souls they truly are but also demonstrating to our children how to be a parent for our future generations.