In My Heart is Where I Keep You Friend

Michael - palmdale, California
Entered on June 18, 2008

I slowly sank into the deep murky depths of my soul, reflecting on my life. Did I do everything that I could? Was I a good son, brother and friend? Did I ever wrong anyone that I did not regret or apologize for? Wasn’t I good? How could this be happening to me? These thoughts raced through my head as I began going deeper and deeper. I began to cry, I think? Then again it could have been from the water around me. I was drowning!

At least, this is only what I can assume my best friend thought about before he passed away that day. Just seconds ago everything was ok. We were at the Little Rock dam in our home town having fun. Then I turned around and he couldn’t be seen. I did not understand how life could be taken away so quickly. I didn’t want to accept it. Yet, it just happened in front of me. It was so painful. It was like a knife piercing my heart, I couldn’t even breathe. All his hopes and dreams were gone in an instant.

Yesterday we were just playing football and saying “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Now he passed away in front of me, drowning. Life is like gambling. Every day you put your bet on the table and see what happens. All you can control is what you put into it. You don’t know if each day is your last. So cherish is like it is.

One of the hardest things was that I never had a chance to say “goodbye.” I know that I can’t turn back the hands of time. There are just so many things that could have been said, so much fun we could have had. I guess it’s true when they say “the good die young.” Time doesn’t wait for anyone. When God calls, it’s time to go home. Tomorrow is not a guaranteed thing.

So because of this, I believe that you should live in the moment. Or else, it might be too late to do anything else. It wasn’t till that fateful day when that event changed my life. I will never take advantage of an extra moment I have again. Never waste a second on “I should have done this.” People everywhere should appreciate what they have. Tell the people you care about “that you love them.” At any moment that can all disappear.

Now I have been able to reflect on my life. Did I do everything that I wanted to? Was I a good son, brother and friend? Did I ever wrong anyone that I did not regret or apologize for? Wasn’t I good? If I die tonight, would I be happy with the life I lived? If so, when it is time for God to call for me, I want to be able to know that I took advantage of the time I had.

This I believe.