Change

Samantha - Hudson, Massachusetts
Entered on June 16, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: change

I believe that people change over time. As we grow up we learn a lot more about ourselves, and who we want to be. I for one have changed a lot since middle school; I did this by learning who my real friends were and who I wanted to be.

In my days of elementary school I was incredibly shy, since I had just moved to the school in second grade. I would always look at the ground, and I wouldn’t talk to anyone except those I knew. I was only concerned about my grades, because I wanted to please my parents. I wasn’t getting the grades to please myself. I told myself that I didn’t care that I had no friends. The one friend I had in the school was Cammie, and I felt left out because she had all different teachers, and was making new friends of her own. I would sit at lunch alone, ride the bus alone, and pretty much never even murmur a word.

The day came where I was envious of a group of girls, laughing and having fun. I don’t even remember how I overcame my shyness, but I had enough courage to ask them if I could join them. They allowed me to, and everyday I would join the group who had accepted me, taking a step out of my shell each time. By fourth grade I was talking to everybody, and I had more friends than I could count. But I only had that many because I was best friends with a girl named Katie who knew everyone. She encouraged me to go farther than ever before. One time I remember us piling our leftover food on our cafeteria tray, and in a result, we got a detention. This was my first one, and no matter how I acted like it was no big deal, I was scared. I was always trying to catch up with Katie, like I had to live up to her standards. Now I realized that I was becoming someone who I wasn’t, because I was always hiding myself from everyone. No one really knew that I was that crazy girl who loved to draw and play videogames. People saw that I was that girl who hung out with her friends and liked getting makeovers and going shopping. Really I was the opposite. When my friends gave me makeovers I felt like I looked like a clown, wearing heavy makeup. I also really hated shopping, I would walk around the mall for hours being dragged into countless stores and my feet would hurt so badly.

When I finally reached middle school, my friends were in none of my classes and had never contacted me over the summer. Over time I ended up believing that they just forgot about me. I took that opportunity to start over, to be different. When I finally found a new opportunity for a new friend, I took it. I found Jackie. She was very nice, and she didn’t care that I was crazy and weird. I didn’t hide myself anymore; I found that I could act just as crazy with Jackie, as I acted at home. I stuck to only a few friends like Amanda, Sarah, Rachel, Kaylen, an of coarse, Jackie. I didn’t care though, because they accepted me for who I was.