She was an extremely active Christian who fought for the Pro-Life ministry. She loved God with all her heart and His love shined through her. She was an amazing artist with skills that inspired me and many others. She was a mentor to me, a role model: the last person in the world I would expect. She took her own life. She gave up. She lost hope. She was only 19. How could she? She, of all people? She devastated all the people who love her. How could she be so selfish? The girl whom I looked to as a perfect model of a Christian had committed the worst possible sin. I could not understand. I reached out to God more than I ever had. I drilled Him with questions. He was patient with me, revealing His answers little by little. Her middle name held the answer: the lesson she left me was Hope. She lost hope and desperately took the worst possible way out.
It was heart breaking, yet eye-opening at the same time. A new awareness resounded in me. The people around me, my friends, and my enemies must never lose Hope. I must never let them. I must never let myself. Before her death I had been having a lot of troubles; keeping my head up and staying hopeful were becoming more and more difficult. Her death made me realize I did not have to stay down or depressed. I had a choice. I could be miserable and believe that I was useless and worthless, or I could delight in life and a promising future. The latter had not been an easy choice for me in the past, and I discovered that the same was true for many others. My friends who were also dealing with her death told me how many times they had considered giving up like she did. We saw how devastating that decision would be to any person who had ever connected to us in any way. I vowed to take a stand for our generation, to stand up and fight this hopelessness. So many people are depressed and broken. They turn to medicine or anti-depressants — or worse. I believe that every person in this world needs to Hope: hope for a better day, hope for a greater tomorrow.
Now, whenever my world seems to crumble around me, I remember that there is always hope. I always remember that “we have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). In the hard times to come I will not be defeated. I will not give up my hope in life. I owe it to her. I owe my life to her: Amy Hope. May she rest in peace and dance among the angels.
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