I believe the first steps are crucial. It is not something that should be scary but something to be looked forward to. It is with these first few steps that we enter a new type of life, new type of feeling, and a new type of creation. Everyone has different first steps, it can happen as late at 60 or as early as 5. My first steps came when I was 4.
Both of my parents were born in Iran. When the Iranian revolution in 1979 occurred it separated my parents—physically but mentally as well. In America they became two different people and could no longer live with each other.
My first steps came in a strange way. I remember my mom trying to explain to me that I was going to be meeting my dad for the first time. My stomach churned and I felt the force of anticipation and burst of natural love. These were my first steps. I remember walking down the stairs and constantly asking my mom, “ So, where was he?” “Fishing?” “ Working?” Yet the moment that I saw the car from a distance I became cold. I remember getting very quiet as I grasped on to my moms hand.
My first steps changed and altered my life. I remember it like slow motion as I approached the car. That strange man that I was now supposed to call father opened the white car door. I smiled and said “hi” but somehow I couldn’t step inside the car—I felt stuck. No one said those first steps were going to be easy. I could feel the disappointment in my dad. His eyes became wet with tears and my mom kept protesting to go with him but I didn’t budge I didn’t move, I was stuck. My mom behind me my dad in front of me.
Slowly my dad began to realize that this was not the time. He was not only meeting his child for the first time, but was also rejected his own flesh and blood. I remember backing away from the car and taking steps backwards. My dad drove away with tears in his eyes.
Taking those first steps means starting a new chapter in your life whether by accident or on purpose. It’s a sign of growth, an end to the old and the start of the new. No one said it was easy but it was crucial. These first steps teach you to be strong and stand ground even when life feels unbearable.
I believe in the first steps and I believe that everyone will have these first steps. Walking down those stairs knowing that I was going to meet my dad portrayed a lesson; those first steps taught me how to grow and develop love. It is with these first tiny steps that make up the rest of your larger life. Whether it be with pursuing a goal, or doing something that you dread, or perhaps your first steps will happen by accident. No matter what it will make a permanent dent in your life.
I believe in walking the first steps.
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