When I Think about not only Me

Yu - Kunming, China, China
Entered on June 15, 2008

“I’m in Beijing now. I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon tomorrow.” my friend Tiantian told me online. She was going to have a double eyelid plastic surgery.

In hearing her words, I almost burst into angry tears. After trying to dissuade her so many times from carrying out this bold action, I was finally left to be disappointed.

Two years ago, another friend, Xiaoxue, went to a plastic surgeon to get a higher nose bridge and a sharper nose tip. I met her at our junior high school reunion a couple of months ago. I saw her remarkable, new nose, it looked as perfect as a movie star’s.

During our talks after the reunion, neither of us mentioned the new part of her body. I asked her to play basketball together someday, which I knew was dangerous for her new nose. We used to play basketball together back in junior high school when neither of us could imagine terrible things like plastic surgery.

I had been really mad at both Tiantian and Xiaoxue before I talked to my dad. I could had started my plan of stopping talking to Tiantian and hitting Xiaoxue on her nose.

“How do you know they did the wrong thing?” my dad asked me. “It’s just their needs and their lives. They want to look like cover girls, like you want to study overseas. Technically the same thing, you all want certain stuff for yourselves.”

I hated it when he was being that rational and straightforward, but he was right. My head was so full of my own extreme principles that all I wanted to do was impose them on others.

This reminded me of something my grandmother said to me when I posed at a character in the TV and asked her whether this person was good or bad. “There’s no bad person. You need to think beyond what you see, to see their untold stories, their affections and their pains.”

Yes, the world is too much complicated than I think, but it’s not too hard to face if I could always be thoughtful.

And for now, I know I want to cherish my friendship with Tiantian and Xiaoxue. Their choices, however they seem inappropriate to me, are also a part of the real them. I realized that I cannot bravo only when they do thing of which I approve. Maybe now is time to try my best to be supportive, and if I can not, then to shut up.