“I will walk again.” Pretty confident words to be spoken by an almost-eighteen-year-old in the face of a team of doctors trying to tell her the opposite, wouldn’t you say? Well, that was me, in rehab, after surviving an illness which affected my upper spine…nearly taking my life. This was my second chance – and I knew it included me on my feet. While some called it defiance and others called it denial, I knew different.
Somehow, I just knew. It was like I had an invisible army encircling me when the clearest words I had ever heard were loudly saying, “Don’t listen to them. You WILL walk!” These words reached my mind from somewhere deep inside…beyond my heart…beyond my spirit. They were from God, and now I know the army was angels. That was about eight years ago. Now, with my leg muscles responding and getting continuously stronger, I know that those words are going to be 100% true anytime now. They began a journey in my life with God that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I chose, in that instant, to jump aboard the train God was conducting. I simply went with the strongest truth I had ever felt, even if that meant I was going to journey on faith and not on what’s seen. To deny it wouldn’t have only been denying myself – it would have denied God and the plan He was just starting for me.
It took me awhile to get the hang of the first lesson: if I was going to listen to God and the truth inside, I’d have to stop listening to the voices of the unbelievers. I began turning off any doubts which would try to attack me in weaker moments. I’m blessed with a family that generally believes – but they can’t believe for me. It had to come from within, and eventually it was constant and strong in every beat of my heart. I wasn’t talking myself into believing; I was learning to trust God’s words regardless of natural circumstances. That was the greatest lesson of all: to live in faith.
I didn’t put it all together back then, but now I know that when God speaks His will inside the heart of one’s spirit, it will come to pass as long as one chooses to follow it every day. I believe that when my will aligns with God’s will, I know it. It keeps feeling “right” until, one day, it looks right, too. I’ve learned to seek Him first, and He will guide me step by step. I’ve learned to recognize His voice (He doesn’t have to shout to get my attention, anymore). It all started by believing Him that I’ll walk. I have seen His guiding hand in so many areas other than my healing. In relationships, in usage of talents, in true love…He orchestrates the countless details along the way, forming “guideposts” that end up completing one miraculous puzzle. In my life, He will always be the conductor.
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