I beleive that life can be a bit surreal. I saw a rat pass not too long ago. Cute little thing. It had a smokey colored coat and trottrd out the door with a slice of pizza on its back. It must have some sort of family to go to or something like that – hopefully. If I woulda found out that it was stealing my food to feed itself, I’d probably have gone after it or somethin. Whatever. I wasn’t gonna eat it anyway. God – It had to be atleast 100 degrees outside. I guess through the struggle to find a comfortable, cool spot on the bed, i somehow ended up on the floor. The AC being broken doesn’t at all help my casue. I shoulda complained to the landlord, but i was afraid of the explaining and junk I’d have to do when he walks into the apartment and the floor smells like bleached piss and distilled beer. Laying on the floor. i realize that everything feels alot slower than what it actually is and every sound made echoed in my ear like yelling in a bucket. I think the booming refrigerator woke me up from my pitiful postion. I felt sweat in places that i never thought could sweat before and i really wanted to take a shower, but the bathroom looked like it would take 17 football fields long to get there and im apparently glued to the carpet. I guess an abnormally dirty rug, 1,000 degree sun-oven, a little bit opf sweat and you have yourself a genuine adhesive that could keep gorilla hands shut. It was a fight to get off the carpet, but a fightthat overexhausted me to fall back to the floor. The second battle wasn’t dificult. I guess I was one of those “winning the war” kind of person. I was starving at that point but i didn’t want to digress from my previous engagemenet with the shower. I think if I were to throw a penny in my stomach, I could make a wish and hear the coin drop to the bottom, but at the same time I felt like vomiting. Anyway, ice-cold water had never felt soooo good in all my life. I like being dirty sometimes so that when i do take a shower, I see the progress of cleaning happen. Some fuzz from the rug was falling trying to clog the drain and filling up the bath-floor. I stood for a while, letting the recycled water baptize me in all it’s recycled splendor. Maybe I hgad heat stroke, but i small peice of pepperoni slide down the floor- crawling towards the drain. Thinking with my stomach for a second, I was hoping there’d be a full slice of pizza on my back. I tried reaching behind me and I started to see what some — what I thought was tomatoe sauce on my palm. I jumped out of the shower and searched my back from my mirror. Oh man. That asshole of a rat scratched up my back for a freakin pizza. I calmed down after discovering another pepperoni on my shoulder. Oh well. Atleast the slice fed someone.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.