Life is a Struggle

Judy - Lewiston, New York
Entered on June 5, 2008

I believe that life is like a lotus flower. It represents the struggle we all have to go through in life. You start out at the bottom of a pond as a small bud in the mud and the muck. As we make our way to blossoming at the top of the pond, we find ourselves. We figure out what we want to be when we are older, and what type of person we are.

As a teenager I am facing the many problems of high school drama with friends, boys, homework, sports, and jobs. Originally coming from a private school at the beginning of my freshman year, I had to face the problems of leaving old friends and finding new ones. I met many new people, some who were nice and some who weren’t. Being a typical high school, I, as well as many other new-comers, were immediately judged and placed into clichés. We were sorted by the way we dressed, the music we listened to, and the people we hung out with. I was placed in the “not so cool crowd” because I was new. This didn’t bother me at all though because I never really enjoyed being popular or having everyone know who I was. I hung out with the crowd who was into piercing, tattoos, and head banging music. The “outcasts” if you must. Even though I had some piercings and liked the idea of a tattoo, I never really enjoyed the punk kid phase listening to music that you couldn’t even understand the lyrics to. Not being the kind of person to judge a book by its cover, I got to know these kids more and decided to give their kind of music a try. As I listened to it more and more I started being able to understand what was being said. I realized that metal music was very deep in meaning and was very easy to relate to. It seemed like my whole life was in a list of songs put out on the radio. I fell in love with many songs and could listen to them no matter what mood I was in. I finally felt comfortable with who I was and who I was going to become. I had more self confidence than I have ever had before in my life because I no longer felt like I was a fake pretending to be something I wasn’t.

Being lost for the many years before high school changing my style many times and back again, I have finally found out who I want to be. I have been thinking for many years how to become a successful person. I want to graduate and join the Air Force. Afterwards I want to go to college and become a Crime Scene Investigator. Eventually I would like to get married and start a family. From looking at me or my crowd a person wouldn’t think any of this would be a possibility. It wouldn’t seem like we could make it happen. Don’t judge a person if you don’t know them. You can’t stare at the cover of a book and know what happened throughout the story without opening the front cover, just like you can’t know what kind of person someone is without talking to them. Give people a chance and you may be very surprised with who they really are.

Now being a much different person than who I started out as freshman year, I too am considered different because of my looks, clothes, music and friends. I have finally bloomed out of the ugly seed stuck in the mud at the bottom of the water into a beautiful flower floating at the top of a pond. I have opened up and followed a path of what I thought was right for me. We are who we are and we shouldn’t feel the need to change for anyone to become more popular or stand out in a crowd. If we change it should be for ourselves to figure out who we want to be. We live our life and no one else’s.