Evil Essentiality

Ashley - Inverness, Illinois
Entered on June 2, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I believe in sorrow. I believe in the inevitability of pain because without distress, without hurt, we can never know happiness. I believe in evil by necessity and in those who cause misery. I believe in joy. This I believe.

I was once asked that if I could remove every painful memory from my mind, would I do it. Would you? My personal belief is no; I would not. Every memory makes me who I am and forms who I will one day become. We take steps in life to move forward. Pain forces us to take steps even when we feel we can no longer bear the burden. When I have been challenged and pushed emotionally to my limits is when I finally can discern who I am. I am a fighter. I am a pacifist.

I am the little center between the conflict of joy and sorrow. Life is a series of these conflicts, forming a system of checks and balances. I can’t possibly know the majesty of light if I’ve never been caught in utter darkness. Likewise, no evil would exist if no goodness existed. They balance one another. I believe in the necessity to feel pain because without loss, I would never realize what I have. I can never appreciate a smile until it disappears and can never appreciate the kindness of a stranger to help until I see such cruel indifference.

Call me insane or be kind and call me quirky. Call me Un-American and call me a sinner. Call me masochistic and call me sadistic. But do not—I beg—call me a liar. If we want a martyr, we must also take killers. If we want to understand the gentle brush of a hug, we must first feel the sting of a slap. A kiss on a cheek is meaningless to a cheek that has never held a tear. I believe to truly love, we must know the feeling to truly hate. We can never heal if we never bruise. In beauty and distortion. In friendship and animosity. In a breeze and a furnace. In evil essentiality. This I believe.