Change That Must Be Believed In

Paresh - San Diego, California
Entered on May 30, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

The calls never stopped. And they never ended either. Two years ago, I instant messaged my friend, “How do u go about blocking numbers on cell phone…[bleep] is starting to piss me off.”

I believe in an open mind. I now consider that girl, who once drove me nuts, as one of my best friends. So what happened between that moment and today? I will admit that I am stubborn. I often starve because I have made a rule to not start eating dinner any time after seven. But, I try never to completely block out ideas, people or things, even if I despise them greatly. I listen, I watch and often keep my mouth shut. I never did do further research on how to block a number from calling me.

It took excuses to get her off the phone then. Now, I cherish those conversations. I even tried going into the other room, “but the signal was exceptionally strong [that night],” I wrote my friend.

Through all of this, he was even harsher on her. He trashed on her looks, but I never shut the door on her.

Maybe, she annoyed me because I thought she liked me as more than a friend. When she wanted to set me up with someone else, I realized she could be an ally, not a detriment.

Then, an epiphany. “why do i feel bad for hanging up on [the girl]?,” I questioningly wondered aloud to my friend.

The conversations had become entertaining, and I was engaged. I could gain some joy in my life from her bantering, analyses and musings. “sort of like having 2 tv ons,” I told my friend. We tried to set up our best friends on a date. That was when things changed the most. “Call f’in [her],” he demanded, “I need her.” He was no longer protecting me, but using me. Maybe, she brought me a sense of comfort in this moment. By the time those plans blew up, it was me and her that were closer. In trying to help my friend, I kept my mind open. I wanted to help him even if that meant dealing with her. Eventually, I appreciated more than I thought I ever could.

Her laughter may become obnoxious, her nervousness may still draw sighs from me and her deafening silence at times might be incredibly awkward, but I know I can just turn to her, smile, and feel like I am in good place. She can be trusted, she can be responsible, she can be everything I want her or need her to be. My friend once warned, “She will wreck your life.” I had my thoughts, but I kept absorbing new ones and now, he could not be more wrong.

When she went to India for Christmas two years ago, I rejoiced. When she goes to India for the entire summer this year, I’m going to miss her greatly.