There’s gotta be more to life

Joanna - Austin, Texas
Entered on May 29, 2008

So far I’ve been in Earth 15 years. When thoughts of giving up on my life come to my mind I can’t believe it, why should I give up if I’m already this far ahead? Sometimes I feel I can’t answer my own question. Even though the struggles and pain in a relationship help me learn more from life and to never give up.

Not long ago was I going out with this guy I met at my friends birthday party. I only knew him for a couple of days before we started going out. I really didn’t know him at first; I should have known him more. Instead I rushed into our relationship. We started to have trust issues, but acted like there were no problems between us.

Those issues started growing more and more until we began to be unfaithful to each other. Soon we had too many problems facing us and we couldn’t face them any longer and our relationship ended. I was disappointed at my ex and myself. I realized that we didn’t enjoy our time being together, all we received was pain.

My heart was broken for all the issues that came through my ex’s relationship and me. I started to blame all of my problems on every guy. I couldn’t stand hearing my friends talk about the problems in their relationships with their boyfriend, because it all added up to my past.

I had decided to give up and just forget about what I want for my life. I wouldn’t care if I made myself happy or not. I was already heartbroken so I thought nothing really mattered anymore. Then I realized that there’s gotta be more to life. I was only 15 and I couldn’t be living my life like I had to live it because I had no choice.

For me that didn’t mean I was going to go out with any guy that I just happened to meet. That just made me learn from a mistake that I made and to succeed even more in life. My life has a purpose and I’m not giving up that easily for what makes me happy. I’m going to persist by taking everything and little by little restoring my heart and my feelings once again. I’m never going to give up on my life because I have a mission in life and I will accomplish it! This I believe.