Exorcism

Nicole - North Wales, Pennsylvania
Entered on May 27, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: hope

Usually when someone thinks about ghosts, those supernatural beings are associated with the past and are something to fear. However, the past cannot reach out and touch you with its untouchable ice bucket hands. The past has been laid to rest for all eternity—the only thing that really can touch someone from the past is memories and knowledge. And the present, acts on knowledge, accumulating into a fearsome future, which is what we really fear. We have only vague and constantly changing reference points to go ahead. The map, the chart, is unfinished—we only see where we are once we arrive there. And in the land of tomorrow, there are specters in the woods. We can only accept it and just hope, just believe.

The end of Earth, for instance, could happen from meteorites, epidemics, global warming, atomic bombs, God, cosmic death rays, aliens, boredom, an error by George W. Bush, cancerous soft drink companies bent on world tyranny—there are too many to lists. However, beyond these poltergeists with terrible ends, there is just something that makes me believe. Believe in alternatives. I believe in possibilities.

There have been many times when I have wondered just what is the future? How can I go on in this world? During monotone gray and painful days, I have wondered: does life really continues like this? Friendly lights and reading books escape reality only briefly. Sometimes I remember and wonder just how human life continues without a specified purpose in all of the world’s uncertainties? But the fact life has come this far, means it can go even farther. And while experiencing future memories, find just what is being searched for. While some create their own meaning and some do not care, some are still searching. I believe in possibilities.

One future flying towards me from the misty forest is college next fall. I am going, but I am not sure what awaits. I want to learn and find a place there. But it makes me feel fearful and full of anticipation. Fear, I cannot find a place and anticipation, I surely can. Both are possibilities. But even if I fail, even if the possibilities are unsubstantial, there are still possibilities.

I cannot stop it. I cannot stop believing in those possibilities. Whenever I might feel so dull: eyes—glass orbs light reflects, voice so strange, and brain unthinking porcelain. Even when I am alone and depressed; stuck spiritually and creatively; or have some other downright depression in my emotions, I still can go on. Thus, when the time comes: send the meteorite to the sun, cure it, plant a giant super tree, disarm or create anti-atomic bomb force field, pray, create a giant reflecting mirror, peace the aliens, think of possibilities, veto until 2009, and do not drink it, ignore it to obscurity. Something can be done, or perhaps something will just happen, even if it seems simple, even if the only thing is survival. And if nothing happens, then there are possibilities in the afterlife. From this spook fear, the future’s possibilities remain. I think that perhaps it is that instead of just believing in possibilities, I believe in the possibilities of possibilities. Those haunting uncertainties, which might otherwise overwhelm me, then become possibilities or possibilities of possibilities. And from that I can be strong.