We move along in our daily lives, trying desperately to get through each day a better, more whole person – someone more patient, kinder, more empathetic, more loving – all while trying to maintain our sanity and keep our hearts intact. It isn’t possible. We hear a song, we feel invigorated, or we cry; we pick up the phone to call someone, but realize they don’t want to hear from us; we watch the news and feel guilty that we ever let our problems seem so big to begin with, compared to others’ lives and deaths. We are all, all of us, all of our lives so intricately connected and we all come into others’ lives for a purpose – a purpose greater than our slow, selfish minds are capable of comprehending. Yet so few see this, feel this.
I believe most people live in their own worlds, safeguarded, walls up, minds closed to anything remotely outside their comfort zone. But I think living my life is exhilarating – loving deeply and openly; crying and laughing aloud in public; smiling at and conversing with strangers; writing and taking photographs for people I love, just because; giving of my heart and soul daily, even when it’s put down or unappreciated. I understand that I don’t fully accept people who don’t tilt their faces back to feel the sun on their skin, or roll their windows down to feel the wind on their face, or open their hearts to newness and fresh, loving beginnings. Maybe that makes me selfish, unsympathetic to fear – but I don’t think so. I feel fear every day – fear that I won’t be loved before I die, or that someone does love me, but is too afraid to give me a chance; fear that I will not leave behind a legacy of love, but will instead be forgotten; fear that my open and generous love for others will be mistreated, abused – that I will be made a fool. Well, I choose to swallow my fear – to let the breeze dance through my hair and tickle my cheek while the sun illuminates the paper upon which I pour my heart, and live – live every moment I can take breath loving out loud, shamelessly, boldly, freely. This I believe.
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