I will survive

Jennifer - Amherst, Massachusetts
Entered on May 21, 2008

I am still here. I am not going away. I will make it. I will not let anything hold me back. I will do what is needed to continue. I will work hard so others will have an easier path. I will ask for help. I will survive, this I believe.

I will take my surroundings and grow from them. Heartache is inevitable, but I have learned to cope. I have learned what is really important in life and I demand respect. Respect for what I have been through. Divorce, death, addiction, ignorance, racism, domestic violence, and betrayal are steps that I have climbed. Knowledge, love, family, trust, understanding and the strength to accept I am not perfect are rebuilding these. This has been a long journey, but I can clearly see I am a survivor. Small steps of hope turn into a running leaps of accomplishment. A feeling of self worth and a sense of importance keep me striving for the next life challenge. I have accepted that I do not know everything and that I have made numerous mistakes, but realizing and admitting to them is a whole new level of self awareness. It is about evaluating myself. Staying positive in the worse times. Surviving what life has in store for me. Surviving myself.

I am not so judgmental anymore. I am beginning to realize that I use to make judgment calls with no evidence to make such assumptions. No more hatred in my heart. No more self doubt. No more excuses.

I believe I can make a difference. I was given the opportunity to change my environment which I believe made me transition into a better person. I can offer my services for people in need. I have been broken and rebuilt with the correct parts this time instead of all the nonsense others had filled my head with. People can relate to this. People can sense if you are a genuine person or full of fluff. I am still learning and will question things in my life that have always been seen in a certain light. I will change perspectives and look at views from different sources. I am blessed to have made it this far and will succeed in the future.