Journey of Self-Discovery

Nancy - Fairbanks, Alaska
Entered on May 20, 2008

I believe mid-life transitions are a journey of self-discovery. I really wanted to believe that I was beyond having a mid-life transition however, the more I read and explored the more I realized I was a textbook case. I believe my partner thought it was a minor miracle when I finally acknowledged I might be having a mid-life transition. “Really!”, she said as I shared this revelation a month or two after my 40th birthday. I use the word transition versus crisis because I feel it is important to note the process of change over time. It was at the age of 39 about 10 mos. prior that I found myself re-evaluating everything in my life; my relationship with her, my job, my friends, but most importantly me. I wanted to explore the person that I was and the person I wanted to be. I was seeking that place where I could say I was being true to myself because I realized I had not been. I had spent much of my life playing it safe and defining myself with achievements in my job and the validation I received from others. e.e. cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and be who you are.” My mid-life transition helped me find that courage and though it has been challenging I’m learning to foster who I am beyond work and the people around me, I’m discovering who I am. I’ve changed jobs, discovered yoga, looked to my dreams to understand my inner Self, learned to say things that used to go unsaid, learned to say “I love you” more often, appreciate giving and receiving hugs, learned that while conflict isn’t comfortable it is necessary at times, giving attention to my interests are essential, expressing frustration and anger in a positive way is important, a willingness to explore that which is unknown can bring unexpected surprises, being perfect is unreasonable, that sometimes it is necessary to pay more attention to how I feel than what I think, and it is important to focus on the present. As I approach my 43rd birthday I’m beginning to receive the patience, compassion, and love from the one person I needed it from the most, me! I’m grateful for my mid-life transition and am excited for this second half of life it has ushered in. I’m a work in progress, and always will be, life is not static. When this mid-life transition ends another transition of some kind will begin. Regardless I know it begins yet another journey and what will be discovered has yet to reveal its self, it is full of possibilities. This I Believe.