you never know what you’ve got until you’ve lost it

Demrie - Lake Stevens, Washington
Entered on May 19, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

recently came across the saying, “you never know what you’ve got until you’ve lost it”, and I have a better understanding of the meaning. That statement was never important to me until I lost something that I took for granted.

A couple close people have all experienced a loss that really had an effect on their lives. I have always had sorrow for them, but now I have sympathy for them because now I know how it feels.

My mom lost her independence and most of her everyday activities to cancer. She isn’t stuck in the hospital, and she can function rather normally, but she has to take time out of her day to take medication at certain times. She has lost her short term memory. She can no longer have a job, and she doesn’t know what she can even accomplish anymore. It is hard on her, but she really appreciates what she does have.

My sister has lost many children due to miscarriages because she possesses a rare disease in her blood system that makes it so she can’t carry a child. She has been able to have two beautiful girls, and she is thankful for them everyday. They are her miracles.

My story isn’t as intense as these, but it is my first. I have lost a loved one, not due to death, but due to insecurities. My boyfriend, for only one year, and I broke up. It ended more on a bad note then anything and we were fighting all the time.

We both said and did things that we regret today. After we decided to never talk to each other again, I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do everyday because he was no longer a part of my life. I didn’t know who to call or text whenever I picked up my phone. I didn’t know who to yell at for my frustrations, and I didn’t know who to hug when I needed comfort. He was a bigger part of my life than I thought. He told me I was beautiful everyday and noticed everything new. He could even tell you what perfume I was wearing out of the many that I have. Chivalry was important to him. He made sure he opened every door for me whether it was in my own home or getting into the car. He pulled out every chair and even carried me through the deep snow and icky mud puddles. He smiled every time he laid eyes on me, and I didn’t notice all the amazing deeds he did until I didn’t have them anymore.

I took it all for granted. Even though I would acknowledge and say thank you, I never realized how wonderful he actually was. When I realized I missed him, I was too scared to say anything. Our lives went on, both changing through our experiences. After a few months, he couldn’t take it anymore, he missed me too. He stepped up and did what I was too scared to do. He told me he wasn’t going to give up until we were together again. He didn’t have to fight very hard because my heart was already his.

I knew I wanted to be with him and I needed him back in my life, but I had gotten myself into some situations that put a halt to starting over. I had another person in my life who I knew should not be there under the circumstances that he was. I faced the consequences and did the hard work, but I knew in my heart it was the right action for the both of us. So as the days went on, with nothing standing in the way, I was finally able to start off the right way and work it all out with the one I truly love. I guess you could say I am lucky for what I once had, but I’m even luckier because I lost it, learned, and got a second chance.