Mind Over Matter

Katelyn - Merrill, Wisconsin
Entered on May 16, 2008

Follow your heart. When does this come into play and need to be acted upon? Is that really a logical statement? After all the heart is merely a muscle that pulsates and pumps blood throughout the body. It’s a necessity to human life and for that matter most life of living things. The picture most associated with the heart doesn’t even quite look like the heart, does it? Is it just a figment of the human imagination trying to make up for something, perhaps personal values and a conscience?

During junior year of high school I had never seen a girl go through so much pain and agony. She was in a relationship with a boy, her own age. It was a happy relationship he helped her and she helped him, through the good and the bad. Days went by and months passed. Together until the end they promised each other. She came to school one day with a bruise on her arm. The questions were asked, all she said was she got it from gym class. As time went on her spirit was lost, and the sparkle in her eye was drained of all life. Tears would roll down that once joyful face. It showed in her grades- they were the worst she ever had. She lost interest in friends and family. Yet, she promised her friends everything was ok. The stupid choices she was making upset her family, and they were one step away from disowning her for good. As much as she did not want to say it, she knew this was wrong. Until one night she received a phone call saying her nightmare was over, he had moved on to his next poor victim. His only excuse was that he said she cheated on him with another boy. She cried night after night knowing that she had been loyal and would have done nothing, that thought never crossed her mind. She felt so confused and kept asking, “why?” Even after they had ended their relationship he continued to torment and hurt her. He would destroy her things and disrespect her as a person, by verbal abuse and harassment. At first it was hard for her, a saddened young soul, full of pain and guilt. Did something tell her to move forward and keep going? Was she really stronger than that?

This sad lifeless soul was me my junior year. People had told me to get out, things weren’t good. Part, of me agreed and yet a sad confused part of me said I can fix this. My heart longed for freedom and my mind begged to stay. I listened to my mind rather than listening to my heart because at that time I thought it was what needed to be done and what was right for the time being. If I dig a little deeper I find that my heart is telling me opposite of what my mind says. I know it’s the right thing to do: get out, move on, you’re better than that, but it doesn’t mean that it’s the easier of the two things to do. I have learned not to base situations off of what I feel in the moment, but rather off of what my instincts tell me. Follow your heart, make the best of life.