I believe in strength. Not the kind of body builder, Olympic weightlifter kind of strength, but an inner stability. It is important to be a self-abiding, self-sufficient person rather than a parasitic-like, dependent person. Knowing this, weakness is a detriment to the independence that strength promotes.
I believe it is one’s own responsibility to constantly evolve. However, weakness prohibits change, causing a setback to our necessary self-advancement. Without the willpower to spark reform in our lives, evolutionary processes are almost impossible. On the other hand, strength prevents unwanted change. When one is soundly certain of their beliefs, strength averts the undesired influential affect that people can project on others. Thus, strength promotes an “anti-chameleon effect” where one becomes impervious to constant change and influence.
I have come to the conclusion that passiveness in my life has proven to getting me nowhere. After many years of living in close contact with my often unknowingly, verbally abusive father, I built up a resistance to constant ridicule. My father had an inability to come to terms with my many flaws. He often expressed his thoughts of his daughter not with his fist, but with a malicious tongue. It was not long before a compilation of his criticisms and my failure to resolve my issues impelled me to become self-abusive. I believed it was my inept potency that prolonged my abuse. Thus, I became a person impermeable to human emotion and responsiveness. I was often stoic, a raincoat’s protection against fat, wet raindrops.
Once this aforementioned passiveness left me vulnerable and heartbroken, I vowed never to evince those easily manipulated qualities. Therefore, as years went by, my heart hardened. Realizing my cynical nature left me lonely and emotionally unattached.
It was about three years ago when my realizations brought me to a tipping point. I could either continue my closed front or break down the wall of self-protection I was so adept to hiding behind. I came to the conclusion to shatter through the wall, coming out of the cocoon as someone with strength, and not a fear of being hurt.
Thus, I believe in strength; not harshness, and not a passiveness, but a mutual balance between the extremes. I still believe in my often cynical tones, but the severity of my caustic qualities is subdued, de-saturated. It is with strength that our minds and our beliefs can persist and endure. Our essential evolutionary processes are the necessary instigators for self-advancement. Therefore, I believe it is significant to asseverate that self- destruction begins with quavering strength.