Don’t Apologize

Emily - Tempe, Arizona
Entered on May 13, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: carpe diem, death

I believe in telling everyone what is on your mind. I believe in expressing your feelings to the people you love. If you go through life without telling others how you feel, not only will you not resolve issues, you may miss out on a life-changing relationship.

In elementary school, it is common to tease the kid you have a crush on. Usually this doesn’t end in anything meaningful. Contradictory to the other kids, when I was little, I went up to the boy I liked and told him how I felt. I believe that this trait has helped me to this day. I was never scared of what would happen. I would have rather risked being made fun of, not having my crush return my puppy-love, than hold the secret in my heart.

My belief was reaffirmed last year when my good friend CJ died in a car accident. Since I had only moved to Phoenix a year before the accident, people assumed that CJ and I weren’t very close friends. Although I had only known him for a short time, he meant a lot to me. When you do not have many friends, the ones you do have are immensely important to you. My one regret after he died was that I did not tell him how much he meant to me. I had a great opportunity at my friend’s after-prom party. We were all dancing and having a great time, not knowing that our lives would soon change. I can still hear his laugh and hear his words. The one moment in my life when I did not tell someone how much I cared about them was that night. I will always carry that regret in my heart.

This year, I have never held my tongue. I am constantly telling everyone my feelings about everything. At times it is seen at a flaw, but I would rather have people be unhappy with what I have said, than feel the regret I felt the day that CJ died. I will always take the risk of being hurt, if the outcome could be beneficial.