I believe in that you should never be ashamed of you past because everyone has one. Around March 15, 2007 my mother and sister and I left my father because of his abusive and alcohol ways towards my mother.
His way I remember since I was 7 may be younger I choose not to remember
He would get drunk and pick fights with mom and became more abusive when me and my sister weren’t around because we were his daughters. Staying up some nights upstairs crying with my sister hearing the yelling and crying from my mother and father. Not knowing most all facts last summer while I was in Jefferson, Iowa. My aunt told more of what happened while I was gone. Hearing that filled me with hate and anger I still hold today for him. Now when he get drunk he’ll call my mother and I normally answer make up excuses so she wont bear his hateful words. And recently he told me he’s disowning me. And even know my mother says not the answer I still do I want to know what he was to say about me. The messages he leave are very harsh and cruel. And he expects me to forgive him for stuff I did and didn’t say.
When left we stayed at my sister friend house for a not even a whole week.
Then we I guess you could say got into a domestic violence homeless shelter in Tacoma, Washington. We stayed there for 2 months until we got in to emergency housing with helping hand house. It was a house only for 90 days so mom was working so hard to get into the Women’s Work Education and Employment. (WWEE) through my eyes it was amazing she did!
They gave her basic classes on computers for office work, while she interned her at Orting Communities and Schools. So it helped my mothers work problem because before that she had only a 7th grade education so it created difficulties find work, although she is a very intelligent person she got her GED at age 16.
So that lifted a lot of stress off my shoulders. At the time knowing we’ll have more income just EBT. After those two months we got the ok to move in to a 730 days house.(2 years) so we moved in and stress grew I didn’t want to be there I wanted to be with my friend (Jenn) and her children. So I spend few days out of my week there instead of home. Releasing a lot of stress by staying there.
One day I came home to my mother drinking which could get us kicked out. Her and I well yelling back and forth. I got mad so I stayed with Jenn for about 3 months and me lying and begging to my mom to stay because the grass was a lot greener, coming home occasionally because I knew that it wasn’t home and home was harder to many problems I was running from. Well Jenn got out evicted from her rental house from problems with her and her husband. So I had to go home. Only staying with Jenn and her sister house on weekends out in Roy, Washington .
So I would got a chance vent about my mothers and I fights. About the personal problems we had and Jenn told me to tell my school counselor. This only had the out come of hearing about was CPS in my life. Well all they did was calling my mom and then they closed her case because she didn’t pick up the phone. Jenn told me might be able to adopt me and she lied to my mom and sister bout the whole thing. Well on night I told my sister think I could trust her and finding out I couldn’t ever. She told are mother. This resulted in me not being able to see Jenn anymore. We got a warning and mom was going to go to inpatient treatment. Unfortunately my mother drank once more and I offered up information that was none of my business out of despite of it. Not knowing where we’re moving my mom found a place. We moved to my new house in Lakewood, Washington. At a new school, the new kid, trying to make the right decisions which never happens easily.
Not being able to understand the shame most people hide in struggles like my family’s. only if there knew that if it don’t kill you it will make you a lot stronger as a person! Hoping this shall inspire people to not be scared to get the help you need. Believe in the faith that people have around you! Most people see this as a cry for sympathy but I saying I am not ashamed of my past.
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