“You just need P.M.A.” This is a common phrase that rings in my head on a daily basis. I am told that all it takes is a POSITIVE mental attitude. If you can take that and apply it to everything you do you should have no problems. You will never be nervous, never think anything bad could happen and always have a smile on your face.
I can not say that I agree with that. I know and understand that a positive attitude is good to have. It might make things easier and less stressful but what if you can’t have a positive attitude or you just don’t know how. Its not an easy task trying to remain positive. I know the feeling when you put the fake smile on your face to pretend everything is okay.
My positive attitude slowly faded and completely disappeared three years ago. It all started when my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. Throughout the first couple weeks I was positive that he would fight it and be healthy in a couple of months. Then reality set in, my grandpa was not young anymore and would have to use all his energy to overcome his challenge. He finally lost the battle five months after he had been diagnosed.
While all this was going on I was trying to live a normal life, going to school, practice and homework always came first. My days were so filled with things to I do I barely got to see him. Since I was so busy I missed the last opportunity that I had to see him and talk to him. After missing what could have been the most important thing to me I went from loving everything I did to hating it. I thought it was all a waste of time and not important. It made me so upset, I didn’t get the chance to actually say goodbye and it was a couple of days since I had the chance to tell him that I loved him. I never wanted to take part in any of those things ever again that took that away from me.
This was a life changing experience for me. I went from having a great complete life to one that was empty and had no meaning. I eventually tried to do things that he would like me to do. That slowly helped me gain my positive attitude back. I have not been able to be completely positive and I can not say that I ever will be but I try because he would want me to.
I believe that having a positive attitude towards everything in life is difficult. No ones entire life can be perfect. It only takes one appalling incident to make a person go from happy go lucky to completely miserable. The worst part is, it takes so much more hard work and effort to go from being upset to carefree but all you can do is try.
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