Rising Phoenix

Kevin - Madawaska, Maine
Entered on May 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I have been told that I was a waste of recourses and didn’t belong in this world. When I was in elementary school, everyone always made fun of me for no reason. They always called me names and said I was worthless in life. They would constantly make fun of me every day of school. My self-esteem went down and I felt so depressed. I had no friends, no one would say something nice to me, except for the teachers but they weren’t my best friends. The only thing someone had to say to me was something negative and this would bring me down. I would try and ignore them but it’s not easy when everyone is doing it. Even the smallest thing or action would affect me. I tried to make friends in other grades but even that was hard. It didn’t last long. I just couldn’t make friends.

Soon I even began to think I was worthless, and my grades fell. It was horrible. I hated myself and was scared to go to school. I would always stay inside my house and play video games because they were the only thing that made me forget about school. I didn’t want to face the world, so I tried to hide. All the things people said and did affected me emotionally. It made me think no one cared about and I was alone in the world. I thought people didn’t care what I had to say. The bullying changed my whole life. It was incredibly lonely. Bullying could cause a person to commit suicide or just live a horrible life like me.

I believe that people can rise from the ashes from the fire of the words of other people. That’s what happened to me. Soon the other kids in my grade matured and gradually stopped making fun of me. Just because of that I was finally able to make some friends, just not in my grade. They helped me because when I would say something bad about myself they would say that it wasn’t true. They helped me see the good things in life and about myself. They hung out with me when I usually had no one to hang out with, like at lunch and at lunch recess. Things were and are getting better for me. I still think badly about myself sometimes but the thought soon fades away.

Soon my mindset began to change a little, and still is. I was more willing to take a chance on someone being me friend. With those friends, I was more trusting and open to them. It’s easy for me to confide in those friends. Before, I would never talk but it seems I have found my voice. So, I was once burned down but now as I rise up, I look to a brighter future and leaving behind the ashes of my former self.