Finding Myself

Denyse - Madawaska, Maine
Entered on May 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Have you ever experienced true loneliness, as if there was no one left on earth besides you? I did… until I found God.

It was the beginning of November in 2007, just days before my, supposedly, sweet sixteenth birthday. I wasn’t feeling incredibly ecstatic because I had nothing planned. On the Friday before my birthday, I left my home on a charter bus to go to a spiritual, Catholic retreat, seven hours away. With me were some close friends from my youth ministry group. Not knowing what to expect, I could feel the wings of the butterflies in my stomach flapping around.

Throughout my weekend, one main question came to mind: how can I bring God into my life? Simply, there is just one answer. As I uncovered my answer through prayer and song, I did the one thing that made sense, which was to invite Him into my life. After three days of a reformation of my body and soul, I felt like a new person. I had achieved spiritual greatness within. I had this securing feeling that someone was with me… constantly. It was a comforting relief to know I wasn’t alone, as I had previously assumed. I became more confident in my behavior, words, and actions. It was a life-changing experience that nothing could compare to.

The weekend I found God, was like finding my missing half. It was what I needed to overcome my fears and struggles in life. I knew I could deeply trust Him in helping me discover what was best for me. It was as if a friend gave me the puzzle pieces and I made the picture.

I believe I am not living my life in the traditional “Christian way,” but my God is living through me. By not living the “Christian way,” I mean I am not following a certain guideline of what I should do and shouldn’t do. I am living a life of compassion, sincerity, and helping others not because it’s stated I should, but because I want to. God’s challenge for us is to share His word with others. Each individual has their own strategy of doing so. I’ve learned that reaching out to others in anyway possible can make a huge effect on one person alone. I want others to see how they don’t have to live a lonely life; that they can count on someone that will never leave them.

As I look back to the lonesome days before I had God in my life, it makes me wonder why I waited so long to open my eyes to God and see the real truth. I believe in God, and always will, because He helped me find myself.