This I believe
When I was a child my parents told me that I could be anything I wanted as long as I worked hard, studied hard and applied myself. My parents always told me that they wanted me to be happy. They said they wanted their children to have the opportunities that they never had. They wanted us to be what ever we wanted to be as long as we were happy. I took their words to heart. Unfortunately that was not the case when I told my parents I was gay. My parents were ashamed, embarrassed and un-accepting of my revelation.
I truly believed that my coming out would release me from my prison thus far, but
I was sadly mistaken. I heard the cruel and horrible things that my mother and brother
were saying about a friend of the family who was homosexual. The words that I heard
cut threw like a freshly sharpened knife and cut deep into my soul. I could not believe
that my parent who claimed she just wanted her kids to be happy was saying such spiteful
and defamatory things about this “friend”. Hours after hearing the conversation I decided
that I would end the pain of being gay, so I attempted suicide to end my life, their
embarrassment and the humiliation of it all. My family ties were forever destroyed.
I have learned that through the right of self-determination I have the right to live my life
the best way I see fit. I have discovered that life is worth living. I am proud of being
who I am, because I try to be the best person I know how to be. We are all flawed is
some way form or fashion, but we all deserve to be loved. I do not know how my family
feels about me these days because I have not seen or spoken to them in many years. Life
can be very difficult with out having a family unit to fall back on, but I have come to the
realization that family is not who you are born to. Family is what you surround yourself
with. Many people grow up and live day to day with out families so I am no different.
The only difference is that I did not let those people who betrayed a child’s love destroy
my heart or soul. I tried for so long to understand what I did wrong in hopes of
correcting it so I could have that parental love and support back. Those attempts were in
vain. I did nothing wrong. I am who I am. I have had to find with in myself the
determination to go on with my life and be successful for myself and myself only.
I believe that we all belong. I believe that we should all try to strive to the best
we know how to be. I believe that we are wonderful creatures of resilience and can
overcome the toughest of obstacles.
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