Seamlessly a Reason

Amanda - Virginia Beach, Virginia
Entered on May 5, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

Seamlessly a Reason

I found myself in what I thought was a pit of gloominess, lower and lower I was exhumed, till hope, like air, could no longer be extracted from my atmosphere. Then I was warped in to a memory that reminded me of how hopeful I should be. I believe that everything is the way it is for a reason. There is a reason for despair, loss, and love. The hard part is accepting that there is a reason why, when you may not want to believe in that reason. I have learned that through the hurdles, there is always hope, and seamlessly, a reason.

I can faintly recall being barely old enough to remember, walking in to see my dad in the hospital room. “Dad, look, I drew you something,” I shouted as if nothing were wrong. My innocence, pure naivety could not depict the picture that was so clear. I was just happy to see my dad. My mom had told me a story that he did not feel well and he was getting medicine to feel better. At the young age of thirty-five my dad was combating colon cancer, fathering two very young daughters, loving a wife and running his own business. Cancer was not in his agenda of things to do by any means, but it took his life by the reins before he had a chance to blink.

My dad has always been a fighter and this time he was fighting in the ring of life for his very own at the grasps of the destructible cancer cells. I remember sitting in the gloomy hospital room and reaching over him to show him the picture I so thoughtfully drew, when he moaned and lifted his shirt up to show my mom his wound. The now stapled gash across his lower abdomen represented where the doctors removed the cancerous material. The sight of my superhero dad with such a devastating wound horrified me. My dad had been lucky and lucky we were as well. I cannot imagine going though my life without him, but I learned something; life, whether mistakes or unplanned illnesses, shows us something that all can take to heart. Life is too precious, too precious to be worried, stressed, angry or any other emotion that takes away from the joy of knowing one’s purpose.

My dad was given a second chance. Unclouded from how close a life can come to the eternal darkness and how quickly a life can be unwillingly taken, he was shown how important life is and has the seam of a terrible scar to show for it. I would like to believe that in my own life, yes it can be a fight, full of strife, and a hardship, but there is always hope. I am not weary from a whim of a destructible disease as others are; my “Despair” is someone else’s good day. There is a reason, a sign to show us something that we are missing such as the quality of life. Looking back at that day with the burning image of metal clasping my dad’s stomach together, I know there is a reason for everything, seamlessly or not.