This I Believe Essay
I believe in taking a chance on an intuition.
It was August 23rd 2008, the summer before my freshman year in college. We had gone to NYC to see the show Jersey Boys on Broadway. I knew I had always loved the theatre and performing but this experience put me over the edge. As the curtain rose on the glistening stage it seemed as if my heart was beating a mile a minute. With a clutched program in my hand I was mesmerized. Throughout the performance I kept inching closer and closer to the edge of my seat longing to be there, yearning desperately to get to get inside of that world. I shut my eyes and let the melodious hum of Frankie Valley songs fill my ears. My breaths shortened and I felt the inside of my stomach tense up with a sort of kicking sensation. That’s when I knew.
I wanted to go to school in New York more than anything in the world. A chance at the big city life, living moment to moment on the edge of my seat, it all sounded more amazing than I could fathom. I wanted it so badly I could already taste the smog from the sewers and hear the annoying taxi horns piercing my ears.
However when I mentioned going to theater school, my parents weren’t nearly as thrilled. I had to stick to the plan and go to “real” school, to study a “real” major, to eventual graduate miserably to get a “real” job. I knew that I had to do something to prove to them how passionate I really was. A few months had passed and I had participated in all of the shows Endicott had to offer. But even with that under my belt it didn’t seem to make my parents realize I wanted something more. I always got, ‘Why not just stay at Endicott and do theater? You seem to be happy?’
In January a whirlwind of hope finally came my way. I had received a flyer saying that in Ogunquit, ME at the playhouse there would be a production of Disney’s High School Musical and that they would be holding auditions in a few weeks. At first glance I just threw the paper aside into the, ‘wow I wish’ section of my life. These actors had agents and professional staff at their becking call, I had none of that. But then I picked it back up and just starred at it for a while. If I got a spot in a real professional production my parents would have to take me seriously. I realized I had to follow my intuition and go, because if I didn’t I would regret it the rest of my life.
To my surprise I made it through every cut and got called back twice. It wasn’t easy but I was somehow doing it. About a month later I got a call from a guy with a strong New York accent asking me if $200.00 a week would be enough for me to sign with them. I was floored. I couldn’t believe it. If I hadn’t followed my gut feeling, my sense, I would have missed this opportunity.
No one can tell me what “real” is in my life. Passion is real. Love is real. Honesty is real. When I feel that kick of energy in the bottom of my stomach that’s a sign. I have to listen to Katie, and no one else. How I choose to spend my time helps determine who I am. I refuse to give up on something I can’t go a day with out thinking about.
I realize there’s not going to be some magic button that opens up my world to adulthood after college. I’m not going to instantly realize how to become famous, or have all of my unanswered questions figured out. I must live in the real right now. I have to do what makes me happy because if I wait it will be to late. Who knows when I’m going to get a second chance?
I’m now in the process of transferring colleges and finally going to NYC. Although it took me a full year of being unsatisfied to get the courage to do it, I’m not giving up. No matter how many doors are slammed in my face along the way. Being intuitive with myself has never led me astray. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared out of my mind to go out alone into that terrifying city, but at the same time I’ve also never felt so sure of something.
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