I believe in the fear of change. I was once a young girl who thought life was full of rainbows and flowers and now still young I’m a girl who realizes what life is all about. Every aspect of life changes, absolutely every one. Each and every day about 155,000 people die and 200,000 babies are born. So, for 355,000 families and friends their lives are changed forever in the matter of one day. I’m Kelsey Joniaux and I’m scared of change.
My grandma died last year as a result of a 5 ½ battle with ovarian cancer. This was the biggest change I’ve dealt with my entire life. As a little kid I spent every Friday night at Grandma’s house for sleepovers, and even as I grew I still spent a ton of time with her and we were still close. So when she passed away one of my best friends was gone forever. I don’t know what lies beyond this life and frankly I don’t think it could be better than what I have now. My life is amazing; I have the craziest and most trustworthy friends. I’ve been blessed to live in a country where I can get an education and live freely. I have 2 sisters who are practically my second mothers and a brother who makes me laugh everyday. I have a dad who pushes to make me a better person in every aspect of life and the most caring mom to walk on planet earth. I’m involved in 3 sports and I’m as healthy as can be.
Now, my question is what could be better than this? It scares me that at any given second any of these blessings could be taken away from me including my own life. Losing any of these would affect me and others around me.
Change isn’t always bad, in fact change can be wonderful, but even changes for the good scare me. Changes for the good scare me because once everything’s perfect, it can only get worse. Some may call me negative or pessimistic, but I call it thinking logically. People change, fashions change, most everything changes; however it’s the future and uncontrollable changes like death, the seasons, and time that I’m afraid of.
I have a fear of change, but not a fear of life because it’s the little things in life that make it worth living like summer nights watching the sunset, good night kisses, and playing basketball. Life may seem horrible at times, but the thing about life is, it goes on. The little things in life make up for my fear of change which is why I life the way I do. I live life with no regrets. Change has made me who I am today, and even though it freaks me out I can’t thank it enough right now, at this moment, because right now I’m happy with the person I became.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.