Home is where the heart is

Georgia - San Diego, California
Entered on May 2, 2008

I remember it as clear as day. I was eighteen years old, enrolled in my first semester of college, and I was experiencing a very early ‘mid-life’ crisis. A recent reuniting with my father had turned into an unfortunate misconnection and I was in caught in the middle of a falling out with my mother. I was emotionally going through the roughest time of my life. It was a time of great uncertainty. I was suddenly questioning my gut instinct that told me to get away from my negative home life. I was caught in a whirlwind of confusion. I was concerned about my future with my parents and whether or not I would be able to afford and continue my education, which was a profound goal of mine.

Despite my time of query, I had attempted to keep a positivistic outlook by reciting a mantra that had always resonated with me, which states: if I live for the moment and stay true to my heart, inevitably good things will follow.

Having recently left my mother’s home, and on the brink of moving out of my father’s home, my long time best friend Lexi Lomax and her parents invited me up to their house for Thanksgiving dinner. At dinner, someone asked me what was going on at home. I remember nervously alluding to my situation, and I began to shed some tears of sorrow. Keeping in mind, the Lomax family has never been big on expressing emotions.

They stopped me in the middle of sharing my woes, and in their typical Lomax family fashion, bluntly told me that they loved me more than anything, and no matter what was going on at home, I didn’t deserve the pain that I was suffering. They told me that they believed in me. They said that they had always assumed me as one of their own, and that I was welcome in their home for as long as I needed them.

It was the most heartwarming, most endearing thing anyone has ever expressed to me, at a time where I was in such need for support. They were exceptionally open and purely loving, with regard to my needs. I was utterly overwhelmed by their love.

It was during that moment I realized that the mantra I had always recited in my head was true. My heart was telling me to move out and get away from my unsupportive home. Although I was completely unsure of what would become of my life, it was something that I just knew had to be done. All I could do was focus on living for the moment.

I believe that because I stayed true my heart, the Lomax family was able to offer me their support and their home, with open arms. They were the answer to my future and it is true to this day that, because I inevitably stayed honest with my heart, good things were able to follow.