Music Is The Blood Which Flows Within My Veins

Beau - Greensboro, North Carolina
Entered on May 1, 2008

Music is the blood, which flows within these veins; this is a saying that I thought of getting tattooed onto my body. It is what music is in my life, it is the blood that keeps my life going. I have been a singer/ songwriter for many years and most of those years have been ruff, but the one thing that has made it not seem that bad was music. I believe that music has a special quality in enriching people’s lives, even though it is scientifically just a series of vibrations that soar through the air at different frequencies. Before science came along the sound of music was magic. It was used by magical creatures to lead sailors to crash, to place spells, to make people fall asleep, and now I have been taken under the spell of music.

I have been clinically depressed for the past 4 or 5 years of my life, but I have learned that there is a better drug than anti depressants, music. I was suicidal and I wanted to end my life. I thought that there was nothing worth living in my life and that it was just pointless, I found no joy in anything; I was pretty much like one of those blobs on the anti depressant commercials. Then I found something that I liked to do. I liked to play music. I liked the sound of music. I liked singing. I liked writing music. This gave me motivation in my life. I started playing music day after day until one day I started playing my music for other people. The first time that I ever played a show playing my own music and seeing how it could affect people and make a little impact on their life, this was the best anti depressant ever. It is quicker that any pill or any injection, it reaches you brain as soon as you hear it. It can change you.

So after years of playing and writing music, I started thinking about suicide. I tried to understand why I would want to end my life. I wondered what would happen if I committed suicide now, and I came up with, “Music is the blood, which flows within these veins.” I decided that since I have been playing music for so long now that my body is just filled with music instead of blood, and that if I released it, I wouldn’t get to enjoy it ever again. I think that everyone has a purpose in life, and I think that my purpose is to enrich people with my music, not be a rock star, or be famous, but to just play and to affect people. Everyone has different types of music that make them feel special, but just like finding your soul mate, once you have found it you will never let it go. I know that I will play music until the day that it all comes spilling out of me into the air and in the ears of every person that wants to hear.