The Power of Judgment

Casey - Marion, North Carolina
Entered on May 1, 2008

Often in life people judge others without ever actually getting to know them. I know this is particularly true in my life. To most people it seems that who I am is overshadowed by the lifestyle that I live. It is painful to lose friends and even family because of judgment based purely on issues such as race, appearance, and in my case, sexuality. I would consider myself to be a great friend. I am generally a nice, caring person and I almost always go out of my way for friends and family. But all of the kindness in the world doesn’t seem to outweigh the fact that I do not live my life in the way that most people deem acceptable. The only relevant information to the majority of people that I meet, as far as what kind of person they judge me to be, is my sexuality. Thus, I believe that people should judge others by their character and personality instead of making their decisions based on lifestyle or race.

When I came out to my family and friends was the last time that I spoke to many of them. People that I had known for nearly all of my life and had helped any time they needed help suddenly saw me as a completely different person. Despite all of the nice things that I had done for them, my personal life suddenly became the only relevant aspect of my personality. I couldn’t understand why one change in my life was enough to immediately overshadow years of great friendship. I couldn’t understand why my parents no longer wanted me around.

I spoke to a very close friend that I met on an online game whom I had known for over two years. He learned from my father, who plays the same game, that I was gay and after two years of talking to this guy every night for hours on end he basically told me that had he known that when we first started playing together he probably would never have even given me a chance. It was depressing to hear that of all of the times I had been there for him, our friendship could have been compromised simply because I am a homosexual and it was a difficult realization that I may have missed out on a great friendship had I openly displayed my sexuality inside of the gaming world.

When I make a personal judgment of another it is based on the quality of their personality. I know what it is like to lose friends because of my sexuality, and I have friends that have experienced such losses simply because of their race. I would not want to put anyone through the pain of being denied a wonderful friendship for little to no reason. This I believe, a person’s character and personality should take precedence over all else when it comes to the judgment of others.