Regret Until Death

Ariel - Chula Vista, California
Entered on May 1, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe in living a life without regret. In my opinion, living life without regret means that I could go through life without having to be disappointed with what I did in my past and present life. The way this belief became a core part of my life was when my grandma, for whom I was really close to, was stricken with a disease that took her life exactly two days after she was brought to the hospital. My grandma was healthy and lively before her unexpected death. After her death I regretted not saying “I love you” more to her and visiting her more often. This event led to my life decision to just let everything hang out and not regret anything anymore.

Before my grandma’s death, there were little things that I regretted not doing and there were often times where I regretted things that I did. As a kid, my grandma often baby-sat me and my brother and sister. I must have caused her so much stress because I was a ruckus child. I would mess the house by throwing my toys everywhere. I would run around the house knocking things over and maybe even breaking fragile things. I would want to eat something completely different from my brother and sister, which caused her to cook additional food just for me. There was even a time where I kicked her on the leg for not letting me watch television. There were many others things that could have caused more hardship for her. Despite all that, she did everything. She cleaned after me, cooked for me, watched over me, and loved me. I regretted causing all those stressful things instead of helping her.

As years passed, I saw her less. And when she died, I figured that I would not let myself regret things anymore. I know deep in my heart that my grandma wouldn’t want that either. Therefore, in order for me to overcome regret, currently I do many things. When it comes to my parents, I would always be the first to volunteer when they need help. Whether it is something small like carrying a laundry load or washing dishes or something big like helping installing a new sprinkler system by digging ditches and connecting pipes with the correct modifications. I would always offer a helping hand. When it comes my brother and sister, I talk and joke around with them frequently. In the course of spending time with my family, it helps me not regret things that should have been done or said later in my life.

Through tough times of losing someone close to me, I have come to believe that I should not regret anything. I will feel no regret in the future when it comes to my family because I am doing all that I can for them. I am happy with my belief, which is I shouldn’t regret anything, and it has helped me to be a better person.