I believe in true love. If someone had asked me last year at this time if I believed in true love, I would have said no. But this year has changed my life more than I thought possible. I found out I was pregnant on July 16th, 2007 and met my daughter on March 19th, 2008 at 2:56pm. She was only 8lbs 11oz but she changed my life more than I could’ve imagined. From the moment she came out, all covered in blood and goo, I knew that true love was possible. I fell in love instantly. I remember the way her brand new baby skin felt under my, 26 years warn, fingers. She cried and so did I. She was the miracle that I never thought would come, she was the love that I never thought existed and she was mine. The weight of her lying on my chest, as they cleaned her up, made my heart melt. She was finally out of my body and into the world. She had made her grand entrance exactly one week past her due date and I couldn’t imagine it happening any differently. At 37 weeks pregnant I just wanted her to be here, I had decided that I couldn’t wait any longer and I just needed her with me. She decided to make me wait. She needed to cook longer to be nice and healthy and I needed to be forced to enjoy my last weeks as just me and I was thankful.
Every time I see her face I fall in love all over again. I think her first words just might be “I love you” because I say it to her about a billion times a day. I just can’t help myself. I never really understood the meaning of “I love you so much it hurts” until I had my daughter. Now I completely understand those words. It’s like I love her so hard and so deeply that it clenches my heart and is so intense that I can barely allow myself to feel it all because it might be too much to handle. When I concentrate on it, it feels like my heart takes up my entire chest and there is room for nothing more than my love for her. She has allowed me to be something that I’ve wanted my whole life, a mom. I feel so blessed to be her mother. I feel like I was chosen to raise this amazing human and I feel incredibly lucky to have that job bestowed upon me. Maybe I am raising the woman who cures cancer or world hunger. But it doesn’t much matter because all I know for sure is that she is my daughter. And I love her more than the stars can tell, more times than they can twinkle, more than all the wishes wished upon them. She is my little angel girl and I will love her beyond forever.
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