Believing In Something

Breona - Norfolk, Virginia
Entered on April 28, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: change, death, family

Believing In Something

I believe in paying attention. “Attention is the means through which we focus our mind on people and things as they really are- in truth and in love”(John Wijngaards). As a human being we all have the sense of needing and wanting attention. In this busy, energetic, world it is possible to forget even the smallest yet important things, such as please and thank you and things of that nature. Often we find ourselves not paying attention to those things and ones that really matter to us. With that said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment” (Buddha).

My late grandfather, Reginald Spivey, meant the world to me and I did not show it. A father of two girls, he was one of a kind. My grandfather lived to give advice. He was the kind of person who would never let you stand alone. He left permanent smiles across many faces, from his broad, yet comical personality, and he as well as his Sunday dinners are truly missed.

Every Sunday all of the family and close friends would gather at my grandfather’s to enjoy a meal that he joyfully prepared. If you were not there you would here about it. My grandfather was passionate about the time we spent together as a family. The mandatory Sunday dinners were the key to our bonding and they meant a lot to him. As I got older, I noticed that I did not entertain the traditional dinners like I did before. I remember one Sunday there was a concert that I wanted to attend but I knew I could not make it. Everybody planned on going and I was stuck at my grandfather’s for dinner. The entire evening I gave off a rude vibe because of it and that night for the first time ever my grandfather was disappointed in me. To be honest I was disappointed in myself. I could not help but see the disappointment in his eyes of knowing that I wanted to be doing anything besides spending time with him and the family. He went out back to smoke and he only smoked when something was on his mind. I acted as if I did not even care. After dinner we all had dessert. Then we gave our hugs and kisses and went on our way.

That Thursday my grandfather passed with lung cancer and I was hurt. Hurt because the last time and many times that I was in his presence I did not give him my all. I did not let him know that I loved him and everything about him enough. It hurts me to my heart that I wanted to be at a concert than with my grandfather. He loved me for me and did anything for me. I find myself spending every minute I can with my family, putting them first, and loving them unconditionally, just because I despise the feeling and do not want the burden on my heart of taken another for granted.

Since my grandfathers death, I make it my priority to let family and friends know that they are loved with every breath of me. Nobody should be taken or take anybody for granted. Your life and the next person’s life should be upheld and cherished.

Everyday of your life should be treated as a valued gift from above. People come in and out our lives everyday but the way you treat them why they are here is what makes all the difference.