The Struggle

Tabitha - Newberry, Florida
Entered on April 25, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: courage, setbacks

The Struggle

I believe that anybody can become successful no matter what they’ve encountered in life.

Most of our parents always say that “you” can do whatever “you” set your mind to. This is very true but they never tell us about the bad things that we can go through along the way. They just like to call it the real world and that bad things only happen when you’re an adult. Adults say that childhood is the time of your life and to enjoy being a kid. The kids that do encounter just one bad thing in their lifetime usually use it as an excuse when making bad choices and they never seem to succeed.

I think using bad encounters as an excuse to fail in life is stupid. I have been through so many things that I don’t even think that adults in jail can even relate to my experience with life. Ever since I can remember I’ve always been tied up in some type of trouble. My first childhood memory was being raped when I was five from my mother’s drug dealer just so that she could score more drugs. It might have got better during some parts of my life, but between getting left for days at a time at restaurants and getting kicked out when I was fifteen just because my stepmother lied about me to the family, it seems that my life stays at a constant rate with something bad happening.

I expect people to think “Oh she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself”, so I just keep it to myself. I don’t usually tell people about anything that has happened to me so that they don’t think of me differently or treat me differently than what they would’ve not knowing my history.

My past has had an effect on me. It’s really hard for me to trust people. When my fiancée and I just started dating he introduced me to his family and told me every little secret while I just sat there trying to think of ways to defend myself from getting hurt. I don’t like to show affection. It’s still hard for me to even hug people that I’m close to. I have anger management problems even through I went to anger management classes for two years for snapping at somebody in middle school. Even though different things do remind me of the past and I try so hard to forget it, I just take the memories as examples and push on.

Almost everybody that I know says how proud they are of me for taking everything in and still going. Instead of doing drugs, failing school, and using my life as an excuse just because I’ve had a hard life, I’ve started college two years early, got a wonderful fiancée, and found a good job. My goal is to be a successful lawyer so that I can make an honest living and make sure my kids never have to go through even one thing that I did. If I can make it in this world I believe that anybody can.