I am Stronger Now

Vanessa - Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Entered on April 24, 2008

This I Believe

I am a single mother of a beautiful boy named Marcus. Marcus is currently five years old. My life of being an adult started when I found out that I was pregnant with my son. I had to grow up very fast over a short period of time in order for me to take on the responsibilities of raising a child. It was a tough situation, because my husband had just left for training in the military. I did not want to raise my baby alone. Through a lot of prayer I decided to keep my son and not abort him. Since my son was born there has not been an easy day in my life, but I am stronger, wiser and better now. I believe that whatever doesn’t break me will make me stronger.

It all started on July 17th, 2002. I was in labor for what felt like an eternity. I remember being in so much pain that I cried for hours. I eventually y had to go through an emergency C-section. The next day the nurse woke me up to sign documents to transfer Marcus to another hospital. He needed specialized care. At this point I was in pain from the C-section confused, stressed and emotional.

I was sent home from the hospital after three days. Marcus was transferred to New York Children’s Hospital. I was able to go to the hospital to see him. The majority of the information from that point is a blur in my memory, possibly because I have suppressed them so long. What I do remember is when I was asked to see a neurologist to let me know the status of my son.

The neurologist was a short woman with glasses. She called me to a conference room for privacy. We sat down and she stretched her hands out so that we could pray. At that point I Knew that something was seriously wrong. She explained to me that my son had brain damage from the lack of oxygen and she could not tell me if my son would ever be able to talk, walk, run, play or eat by mouth. I started crying hysterically do to the level of shock I was under. All of my dreams for Marcus just went down the drain. I felt like he was robbed of a normal life.

It is five years later and Marcus does not speak with words yet. He communicates with me using sounds and actions. He is taking steps with some support, and eating pureed food by mouth. Although we have had a lot of difficult times in the last five years, I thank God for molding me into a better and stronger person through all the hardships that came with being the mother of Marcus.