Blessings from God Helped Me Give Up My Habit

Chase - Gulfport, Mississippi
Entered on April 21, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

It was a stunningly beautiful day sitting on a forked Ironwood branch slightly hanging above a dismal stream. I sat there staring at the gleaming reflection of sunlight dancing atop the slow moving murky water. I was stunned how beautiful nature was and the joy its presence brought me. As all this was happening I clinched a small plastic baggy half-filled with cocaine in one hand and an inch long straw in the other. I ran away from home that day fleeing the trip my parents planned for me to take to Oak Grove Rehabilitation Center. Sitting on that branch, I had all day to think about what I was doing with my life and where my life was heading. A small unusually bright green frog hopped onto my lap. Curiously, I studied it habits and followed it downstream for quite awhile after it had already hopped off of me and into the brush. Then I meditated on how different my life was from this unusually bright green frog, how unnatural it was for me to be dependent on this unbeneficial substance as if it were food, and how I was going to turn my life around. I dumped was left of the cocaine in to the small stream and walked back home to face my parents. When I arrived at my house I was trembling in fear. My father could be utterly frightening when upset as he was when he saw the results of my drug test. I expected him to remain the same, but he was not. He put his arm around me and told me that this was for the best. My mother packed all my clothes for my stay in rehab, and then we departed. I stared out the window the entire trip with my mind and heartbeat still racing from the cocaine. I did not like the comedown from cocaine and knew if I continued using it I would always have to go through that unpleasant experience. When we arrived I was situated in the center, and I stayed there for an agonizing five days. I was glad to know that I did not have as bad of an addiction as many. I was perplexed at how horrific addiction to cocaine could get. I was just in the beginning stages of becoming an addict. The people I had met were completely fused to cocaine and had terrible withdrawal symptoms that I witnessed every day. My heart went out to these people and they felt the same for me even though they looked at me as a kid who never touched a drug in his life. They schooled me on my bad decision making and told me similar stories I had experienced. Contradictory, I learned more from the people being treated than the counselors. After my stay, I never felt so relieved. It felt like I was reborn and was given another chance to live a wonderful life.