Every day can be the same old routine. I wake up, go to school, go to figure skating practice, and then go to bed. My life is very predictable. I expirience thrills and even despair throughout my life. Here is what’s diferent about me: laughter. Laughter is a false confidence in my life. Laughter veils the weaknesses I dare not show the world. Laughter suppresses anything I am afraid to admit and show to the world. Laughter hides who I truly am.
I was taught to laugh from a very young age. My mother was the first person to really inspire me to laugh. She makes jokes about everything and can turn a serious situation into a nonchalant one. My mother is the funniest person whom I have ever met. My mom can change tense moments and incorporate fits of laughter into them. She can perform many different impersonations and can conjure up witty and hilarious comments in a matter of seconds. Genetically or not, my sense of humor comes from her.
From her laugh-filled personality, I learned to make the best of any situation. I laugh to make awful situations seem better. Although the situation may be the same, laughter covers the pain or anguish that would be felt.
Laughter is the brick wall that separates myself from my feelings.
When stressing out about school, grades, my next big skating competition or test, I tend to laugh more. Laughter covers up cracks or weaknesses in my life. Whenever I laugh, I feel that I am covering up an inner weakness inside. I use laughter to hide what lures deep inside and wants to surface. I ignore my true, inner feelings. By ignoring feelings, they simply are not there. By pretending not to be there, my life is fine. I never notice the pain in my life. I am embarassed to show my weekness to the world.
Laughter is a medium of covering pain with. Laughter is also used as a means to hide any flaws in my life. My laughter is used as a mask to which no one can see what is withheld. Laughter is an emotional cover-up in my life. I hear bad news of a date that was cancelled or the results of a competition and all I do is smile and mutter that everything is alright. I then proceed to laugh and make jokes with the people around me. People feel that I am emotionally and physically strong because nothing in the world seems to sway my bubbly mood. Nothing can manipulate me as long as I encompass laughter. Laughter gives me the confidence to be strong in times when I lack strength.
Laughter not only makes the fun times, it covers up what I do not want the world to see. Laughter is what God gave me to comfort myself and to show me that He is there. I believe that laughter gives confidence and support in my life.
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