Lost and Found

Jian - south boston, Massachusetts
Entered on April 16, 2008

Lost and Found

I believe that everyone should be happy with what he or she has.

My father was an alcoholic, still he was only addicted to the low percent alcohols because he couldn’t afford other kinds. My mom was the one who mostly worked in the family and I was too small to understand what’s going on in the family. Many years have passed, I begin to understand more about what’s going on. Things had begun to change when I was in middle school, I don’t even know if it’s good or bad. My parents were getting divorced and I’m expecting it the reason why is because of the way I see in my father do what ever he want in the family without even working.

While my parents were getting divorced, my father wanted chances for him to change himself and we did give him chances, but he didn’t take them. One time in front of my mom and me, he said, “ Give me a chance, why are you so hard on me? I’m changing but you didn’t even give me any chance.” At that time I just can’t believe what he said. I was so disappointed in him because we did give him chances, it was him who didn’t take them. Every chance we gave him is used up and the hope in our heart was smaller every day. At the end we gave up hopes to change him and we know it’s the best that if we got separated we will be happier than before and it did happened, but every time he called I had bad attitude toward him. He at the end had given up calling to ask for forgiveness and even he did call again he wouldn’t be forgiven in my heart because of the unhappiness that were between us when we live together.

Every single time he called he said that he doesn’t want to lose us, but he didn’t notice that not only had he lost us, we had lost him too. And I don’t wish to find him. After all we have lost him for a long time, longer then he lost us. Now I just really understand the true meaning of “treasure everyone and things in front of you”

I just don’t get it why do we have to lose it first then treasure it? Why can’t we just treasure it until the end? I know even if I lost someone right now, I still have the other part of the family that I haven’t lost yet and I don’t want to lose what I’ve got now. Even if I were by myself the memories of happiness with my family are still here in my heart, so I know I’m not by myself. I learn that forgiveness will never end if you kept giving chances, when you know that person won’t change. In that way all the chances that you had given out were wasted.