This I Believe

Tara - Yukon, Oklahoma
Entered on April 16, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, purpose

On the morning of September 1, 2007, I woke up hit the alarm and groggily got out of bed. As I got ready for the short work day I had a lot on my mind. Me and my former fiancé had just gotten into the worst of fights the night before and nearly ended everything that we have. As I drove to work, I just knew that it would be one of the worst days of my life, and it was.

At the end of the work day me and my boyfriend got back into our fight and I got mad and drove off. I had a wedding reception to go to at noon so I had to put a big fake smile on my face that way no one would know how much I was really hurting, and no one did. When I arrived at the reception the first thing that popped into my head was “Where is John and his family?” John is my older cousin and he is married and they have a sweet baby boy who I just adore. Letting the question fade away I went and hugged the newly married couple. Me and my mom walked in laughed a bit and was just about to get some cake when my other cousin James came into the house and told us that on their way to Georgia my cousin John and his family got into a really bad car accident. My heart sank. All I could think about was “Is John and Sabine ok?” “What about the baby?” We ran outside and one word from Johns mouth and I knew that something terrible was wrong, and I was right. On the afternoon of September 1, 2007 at the age of 10 weeks my baby cousin John Theodore Brown the fifth was killed from a injury to the head when he was thrown from his car seat out the back window.

This I believe, no matter how hard it is to believe, happened for a reason. I am a Christian and I believe in God and I think that he needed a sweet baby angel up their with him. He was just learning to laugh and had the cutest face I have ever seen. I miss him so much and I know that his mom and dad do too. It has almost been a year and I still know that my cousin blames himself because he was the one driving the car. I believe that no matter how much we want to blame the Lord his self, that he did this for our own good, and that something good would come of it.