I have learned that no matter how hard it gets, life is still worth it.
When I see the sun reflecting off of the snow, like I did this morning, I may inwardly groan at the pain from the light that fills my eyes, I may complain, but secretly, inside, I’m glad for the warmth. Life has challenges. I have had my mountains to climb. Sometimes it has seemed as though nothing worse could possibly happen, and when it does, somehow it never seems as bad as I had anticipated.
There are times that I remember as a teenager when I was so hopeless because my parent’s marriage was falling apart. I was upset and confused because they took it out on me. I remember crying in my closet; screaming and sobbing into a pillow so that nobody would hear me or get worried about me. I always managed to crawl out of that dark place and see something beautiful about life. I prayed so hard! I prayed that things would get better for me and everybody. I prayed constantly. I learned to be grateful for what I had at the moment, to never dwell on what could be, but to be glad of what small things I could with all of my heart, even when life sucked. God was the only support that I had at times, and I believe that without Him, I never would have made it through.
I’m glad of what I have learned from my childhood. I’ve had so many mental challenges to work out overcoming the emotional abuse that occurred at home; I can’t say that I’m glad that it happened, but I recognize that it has made me a stronger person.
Life is a challenge to live, but it is necessary to keep pushing on. Even when times are bad and it is hard to imagine what it would be like any other way. I know it sounds somewhat odd, but if I think about it, I wonder what kind of a person I would be if life were always easy. Would I have learned to give people so many chances, understanding that they are often as indecisive as me? Would I understand how some families are as dynamic as they are if mine hadn’t been so full of drama? Would I appreciate all the work that people put into what they do for a living, if I hadn’t had so many odd jobs as a young teen trying to make extra cash because my parents decided allowances were a waste of resources? Would I know the thrill of learning to do something challenging, if I had not learned to balance on my bike without training wheels one day when I was eight-years-old?
There are points in life when I believe that you just know that things need to change, like when I felt that life at home was too difficult and that it was time to move out. It was a big decision that took me a long time to actually act on, but I did it in the end. After a while of dissecting something, you just know that the painful events that are in play are necessary to become a more mature person and that it isn’t worth the effort of dwelling on what could have been, but that it is time to be glad of what is.
If there was nothing hard to go through in life, I would not have learned the things that I now take for granted. This I believe: life is worth living, no matter how hard it may get.
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