Sorry, I Don’t Care

YunChen - Brookline, Massachusetts
Entered on April 7, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Being a high school student, I always wonder about the rumors at school, though sometimes it has nothing to do with me. Before I make any decision, I need to ask for advice from my friends, because just like you, I don’t want to be lame. Sometimes when I’m lying on my bed, worrying about what will happen tomorrow, I’m also wondering, “What if I stop caring about how others think about me? Will my life be easier after that?”

By these words,”stop caring about others,” I don’t mean you can do whatever you want without considering what others might feel. You can’t just jump out the window from your apartment and send your spirit to tell your parents, “I don’t care that I’ve died.” The real definition of these words is that you only need to care about the voice inside your heart – identify yourself before others tell you who you are. It’s jsut like how you still insist on what you dream of, even though your parents tell you that it’s possible.

A few years ago, since I not only had a good sense for rumors but also for math, my teacher asked me to join the math team. The first thing that popped into my mind wasn’t “yes” or “no,” but the words my friends used to describe those math team members: weirdo, bookworm, etc. Though I knew the experience on the math team could bring me to a higher level of math skill, I rejected the invitation from my teacher. Only a week after I made my decision, our math team won the city championship. Almost all of the members got anadmission to the famous high schools in my city without even taking any exam. If I hadn’t refused to join the team, I wouldn’t need to worry about the high school enrollment exam right now.

People always care about what others think about them, instead of how they identify themselves. I’m the best example of this. Even though I aspire to live my life philosophy not to care about others’ opinions, I still do.

The girl who can’t insist on her own opinion like me, usually ends up regretting believing in others and doesn’t entirely persevere in life. Before we launch into something, we always like to collect every piece of advice from others. Think about it this way, would NASA hesitate when they’re about to launch a rocket? If they did, we probably wouldn’t know that there are other planets in this world. We need to be responsible to ourselves, not those rumors. So, why do we need to care about the rumors so much?

I guess the reason why is because we also earn compliments from them and we weigh the compliments as much as the critiques. If we convince ourselves those critiques are ridiculous, doesn’t it also mean the compliments are ridiculous, too? When we validate ourselves, we always want a proof, which usually comes from others.

After regretting for my decision so many times, I firmly believe that we should care less about how others identify us. Instead of listening to others, we should listen to the voice deep in our heart, the real voice. The difference between failure and success depends on you not others. Listen to yourself and believe in what you hear, because that the most powerful and honest voice in the world.