Why Seeking Independence

Kamal - Irvine, California
Entered on April 7, 2008

Why Seeking Independence

Prepared by Art-in-Mind

Recently a great person in my circle reached the stage of making independent choices. In a discussion about choices and dependency I argued it is very hard to imagine anybody wanting to depend on others for life choices for ever. A cynical friend asked why people should seek independence, if depending on others makes life easier. The friend had a good point and made me think why some people prefer traveling a more difficult path.

Personal limitations, past experience with failures, and subsequent judgments by others might be the reason behind the lack of confidence of dependent people. Once people feel weak, lose their self esteem, and see some succeed in what they have failed, they might trust others to make life decisions for them. Depending on the goal and the character of their decision makers, the dependent people might fall into a vicious circle of subordination and never develop an independent self.

This vicious circle of depending on others might shape the unconscious mind of individuals and therefore their life story. If a collective group of people with the same background and culture fall into such a vicious circle, their collective unconscious and their national history might be affected negatively. Such collective group of failed people might become a subordinate nation and lose the thoughts and the rights to become independent. The attitude of other people might shape their own attitude toward their rights.

People might differ in their attitude toward the rights to independence. Some might enjoy others depending on them as long as possible. Some might never realize they are dependent or what type of rewards independence has. Some might not be familiar with any alternatives or have no alternatives but to be dependent. Some might realize their dependency but argue life is short and why bother if somebody else can makes choices for them. Some might act out against those who make choices for them in a harsh way. Some might encourage others to become independent as soon as they can, and finally some might welcome dependency as a natural path to independence first and interdependence next.

I knew what I preferred for the people in my circle, but I had no concrete answer for the cynical friend’s question. I expect people to answer such questions independently after becoming informed about the possible answer choices. I decided to answer the question with the question of why any healthy adult with a sound mind should choose dependency, if the option of being independent is available.