My father was a man who deeply loved my mother. He loved his kids and wanted the best for us. I remember seeing my father cry when he found out my older brother dropped out of college and saw how proud he was to tell his brother I was going to college.
My mother was unfaithful towards my father ever since I was a young child. She never got caught until 2001. My father’s heart was broken and no matter what my brothers or I say, we couldn’t fill the void of the love of his life. My mother would go to my father when she needed help. There were times when my mother would move back in with us, but it was never permanent. She would leave when she met someone new. In 2003 my father would tell my brothers and me that he was going to die soon. We will keep telling him not to talk like that, but he was certain it was going to happen.
On January 2004 I was talking to my father. He asked me what I thought if he gave my mother money to pay her bills. I asked him why he continues to help her with everything she has done towards him. I told my father he needs to get a divorce from my mother. At that instance my father began to cry. He told me he can’t get a divorce because he didn’t want people to think badly about my mother. He told me that I need to love my mother.
On February 1, 2004 my father was in a car accident. He would be pronounced dead on February 3, 2004. During the days leading up to my father’s funeral I was going through a lot of emotions. I’ve never felt my heart broken like this before. However, when his casket was being lowered, I was able to find peace at that moment. I knew my father was in a better place and he wouldn’t be suffering anymore.
I found peace with my father’s death, but still had a hateful tone towards my mother. My journey to forgiveness started when my mother came to my brothers and me. She asked if she could move back into the house, she was getting evicted. My brothers and I decided to let her move back in. We knew our father would have wanted that. There were a lot of arguments, tears, and discussions between my mother, my brothers and me. I am at a place where I don’t have resentment towards my mother.
I always keep in mind the discussion I had with my father. All he wanted from his children was for us to give the same love to our mother that we give him. Through his death I am fulfilling his last request he asked of me, which was to love my mom. The first step to reach that was to forgive.
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