Never regret something that once made you smile

Agnese - Riga, Latvia
Entered on April 4, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Regret: A feeling of sorrow, repentance, disappointment over an action or loss. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: A person’s regular male/female companion or lover. The two terms can be attached to each other in many different ways. Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend can make someone regret the good times they spent together. Then, those people often have many doubts about if they have done the right thing. My core belief is never to regret something that once made you smile.

I’ve had a lot of experience with regret and it’s something that I don’t believe in. Two years ago I broke up with my boyfriend and it was really hard for me to get over him. I tried and tried to forget him, but it didn’t work. I tried letting go, by being as far away from him as possible, which was quite difficult for me. He lives in a different town, which would seem to help me move on, yet every time he went online and I saw his profile it all came back to me. After a few months of trying, I still wasn’t over him.

One night I decided to tell him how I felt. It was very hard, but I thought that he had to know. Although I must admit, I was quite scared of what he would think, since he had already moved on – he had another girlfriend. When I told him, all he did was nod. For a moment I thought I might regret what I had told him, but inside something told me that I shouldn’t and that everything happens for a reason. I still had feelings for him and letting go was one of the hardest things to do for me.

Summer came and it was very challenging for me because I have my summer house in the town where he lives. Whenever I saw him, he was happy with his girlfriend and I totally envied her. I told him a few more times how I felt, but he still didn’t say anything to me. I thought that I was doing something wrong. I realized that maybe the reason why he wasn’t answering me, was that he didn’t understand why I was bringing up the past, when it was unnecessary.

Then one day I decided to write a letter to him, which I would give to him when I was ready. In the letter it said that I wanted him to be happy and that I didn’t regret telling him how I felt. In the end I never gave him the letter and I tore it up one night because I was so angry at him for something he had done.

Nearly two years have passed and I still know that I have feelings for him. They are not so obvious, but I know that deep down there still is something there. I don’t regret any of it. He made me smile and seeing him happy makes me want to move on with my own life.

Never regret something that once made you smile, after all everything happens for a reason. This I believe.