A Heated Debate: My Father

Matthew - Tulsa, Oklahoma
Entered on April 3, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, tolerance

A Heated Debate: My Father

When I was a senior in high school, a friend of mine came to our house for the first time. We had a fat old daschund and he noticed the diamond necklace around her neck. To my surprise he asked “Where are the spikes on the dog? Is your dad gay and forgot the spikes or something?” I responded “yes. He is gay. Why? Do you have a problem with my dad?” I felt defensive when he said that but in the same sense I was proud. It was not the first time I have stood up for my dad but in a way it was the first time I stood up for myself. As I was overflowing myself with my own pride, I had no idea that my own father would be a start to a new heated debate that defined homosexuals.

As of now, many teen and preteens are coming “out” with their sexual preference but tomorrow’s question is can the homosexual community raise a child just as well as heterosexuals? I say yes. I believe that the homosexual community is just as equal as the next at raising children. Many riots such as the Stone Wall Riot to the protestors at the gay day parades I have seen had no idea who I am. I am the son of a homosexual. I cannot begin to describe the perplexing thoughts that raced about in my mind when I was aware that my father was gay – the countless hours of sitting in my father’s barn wondering how this is possible in today’s world. Since my dad was gay, did this mean I was supposed to be gay? Should I be ashamed of my father? Then it hit me like a ton of rocks.

Every child holds a special bond with the parents she or he was born from and this brought forth the term of compassion. As in every bond a child shares with their parents, it can show a high resilience in compassion, a deeper emotion that can never be driven out and it is with that single emotion that holds me and my father’s relationship together!

Some may say “that is the way it has always been done” and I understand that father-son relationships are different in their own way, but radical assumptions are not going to change the past. I believe that we should ask tomorrow’s questions – by challenging today’s conflicts and animosities – hopefully adhering our communities in one entity.

When I was five my mom remarried and along the ways of defining the new word of “dad” I noticed that heterosexuality was not only the “norm” in a heterosexual family but encouraged as well! When I got in my adolescent years I noticed this trend in other families as well. If we encourage heterosexuality over homosexuality, or vice-versa, we are only separating the two communities farther apart. So with that said, I believe that sexual orientation should not matter in raising children but rather let the children decide what is best with reshaping the world of tomorrow – especially when they live in such a modern and conservative environment than they did yesterday.