I believe in beginning again

Micaela - palm springs, California
Entered on April 3, 2008

I believe that there is too much of a story to tell about me and my life. There are too many odds and ends, details, ad forgotten parts to each individual story. I’m not even sure where to begin. The one story I can remember best is starting from February of my junior year in high school. That february I had my first seizure. That February I moved out of my mother’s home to my father’s to avoid their undying passion to fight with each other through me. That February completely changed my life. The first seizure I had was a complete shock. I had fallen to the ground and the next thing I could remember was waking up in an ambulance watching a needle pierce through my skin. I was confused and exhausted. I had no idea why I was where I was and feeling the way I was feeling. Talking with the doctor later on, he had said that stress and lack of sleep took a large part in why I had my seizure. I began to think back on my life as a child; the same thoughts I had everyday. Thinking about growing up in trailors, eating macaroni and cheese that my brother had made for dinner while my mom worked late at night. The stress of my father being in rehab and entering back into my life when I was seven. The stress of my parents fighting through me for half of my life. The stress from my mother and father had taken part in why I had a grand mal seizure. When I had decided that was why I had lost so much sleep throughout my life and why I was always so stressed out. I was constantly wishing I had the life that all of my friends lived, growing up in a three bedroom home with their mom and dad in the same home. I never had that, and the stress of all of those things came together at once and created a disease that I may never get rid of. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, meaning that I was able to have seizures unless I took medicine. I have had two seizures since then, both being as damaging as the first. I have since moved out of both m y mother and father’s homes and am on my way to college in the next year. Living with this disease may be one of the hardest things to overcome, but I only see a bright future and striving for that will be bigger that any seizure would hope to be.