Life Without a Father

Christopher - Bennettsville, South Carolina
Entered on April 1, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family

Life Without a Father

I can still remember the good days when I would go home and have a good snack and watch wrestling. Life isn’t the same anymore. My mother, three sisters, a twin brother, and I left him over thirteen years ago. I haven’t seen my biological father in over five years. I believe that all children deserve a father in their lives.

Before the end of the good old days, I was living in Waterbury, Connecticut, and my dad wasn’t acting like a normal father of the eyes of a three year old. He was becoming abusive and not taking care of himself. He would come home acting really “silly.” At the time never knew what it was, but now that I am older I know exactly why he was acting silly: he was drunk. My mother, siblings, and I moved down to South Carolina to try and get away from him. It was surprising to me at the time. I was only three years old. You would think that I wouldn’t remember from a long time ago, but my memory is very vivid. There are some things people never forget.

My father used to visit me when I was young, but I wasn’t old enough to ask some of the questions I have today; such as, why haven’t you tried to keep in touch with me or anyone else? A large number of questions come to my mind when it comes to this subject, and I’m still confused about fathers in general. I wonder what other peoples’ relationships are with their fathers.

Now, at the age of sixteen, I’m living in China because of my adopted father’s occupation. Every day it seems more impossible to get in contact with my biological father. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. What, if any, regrets does he have? I would be scared to see him if he were to come to China. That would totally freak me out, but then again it would be nice to know that he took the time to come and see my brother and me. I wonder if his life will be complete if he doesn’t ever see me again. Richard Bach once said, “Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.” Does my father still have a mission?

As of three years ago, I was adopted. Now there is a father figure in my life, and I’ll never take it for granted like most people do. I will make sure that my children will always have a father. That, I think, is one of the most important aspects in life. Someone to teach you how to throw a baseball, someone to go to a football game with. It’s every American boy’s dream to attend a Major League Baseball game with his father and buy a foot long hotdog and enjoy some good quality father-son bonding. I can only wish that I could go back and do that with my father.

An important phrase I will always remember I heard in an unlikely place, the Maury Povich show: It takes anyone to be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father.