Alone, I am only a blueprint

Ann - Baltimore, Maryland
Entered on March 30, 2008

Being deeply introspective is indigenous to me. Intensely curious about the world around me, I have always been equally curious as to why I do and feel everything. Hence, I give you my latest conclusions…and beliefs:

I am in the beginning of my life, according to my parents. But according to my friends, I am a full-fledged adult with a 403B, my own line of credit and a job that consumes most of my life. I am 24 years old. Many of my young adult friends think that it is time to buy wrinkle cream and let the signs of premature aging take over. However, my parents seem to believe that I have my whole life ahead of me. Frankly, I am confused as to where I stand. Really, I feel like I am standing with one foot on the road of my youth and the other on the road of my young adulthood. Thank you Jack Kerouac.

Furthermore, when I’m around my parents, buying wrinkle cream seems a bit extreme. But when I’m with my friends, we brood over how our lives are practically over and reminisce about when we used to be fun. However, amidst all of my young adult confusion, something is clear; the people in my life help shape the way I perceive the world. Whether it is my parents, my friends, my students or my mentors, everyone’s contribution counts. This I believe.

It’s funny how we all shape reality and truth, I’m finding. While I do have a foundational “tool kit” of values, perceptions and personality traits that I carry around, I can’t help but be sensitively aware that the company I hold sways my construction of truth and reality.

Of all my beliefs, this one is standing taller than the other corn stalks in the field. It has been for a while. Further, the notion that truth and realities are shaped by the company I hold is surprisingly settling for me. Usually I don’t like to admit that I depend on other people for anything, especially the way I perceive my life. However, I enjoy the different realities and truths that permeate my life. They challenge me, nurture me, upset me and ultimately cause me to grow.

Figuratively speaking, my life is like the process of building a home. I have a beautiful blue print, but cannot construct my house alone. The people in my life help me build a strong foundation, help me remodel when necessary and decorate my walls with eclectic, sometimes contradictory blends of colors. Alone, I am only a blueprint.

This I believe.